Tent Trash

The Wussification of America

2011-12-29T19:51:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid in the 1980's. The action heroes were hardcore real men. There was no shred of femininity or any hint of weakness of any kind. Nowadays an action hero is a pale, weak, effeminate, sensitive creep that looks like he should be in a Cure music video. What in the world has happened?

The wussification of America is just about complete. Where is Rambo now that we need him? When will Dutch show up and save us from an alien threat? Don't hold your breath, it isn't going to happen anytime soon. Modern super heroes don't carry machine guns and knives like the heroes of old, they carry poetry books and sullen vampire faces.

The American male is being neutered and turned into a pansie and pathetic girly-man. What can we do about it? Get yourself a machine-gun, look pissed off and start raging.

Another Christmas Miracle

2011-12-24T23:59:00.000-08:00

This disgusting hunk of gristle, protein, sugar and flesh is called delicious by some and nasty by others. The disdain for sweet honey meat is nothing new here. Last week on Christmas Eve, I attended a fun family party at Mad Brekell's home. As the talent show portion of the party ended and the eating portion began, I noticed the satanic aroma of the gristle slowly matastisizing in the oven. This party was attended by 80 people who all knew my great disdain for Satan's Meat. As I moved my way through the food line, a Christmas Miracle occurred. I was handed a small ziplock bag containing a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich! Miracles still happen and secret prayers are answered! Someone knew that I would vomit if forced to eat the gristle and syrupy protein mass. I heard cherubic singing in my head as I ate the delicious sandwich. Thanks Raunt Aenae and Mad Brekell!

Freak of the week Volume: XII

2011-12-05T20:00:00.002-08:00

It looks like this guy has some very serious identity issues. Could he be a football player who when fed up with the lack of skill in his being chose to transfer to another school? Could be....

The entitlement generation

2011-12-01T07:51:00.001-08:00

Let me start by saying that I have tremendous sympathy for the children caught up in this cycle of entitlement and poverty. The children will suffer and likely perpetuate this cycle of ignorance, poverty and entitlement. Why in the world do we not sterilize perpetual welfare cases like this woman?

He's Back!

2011-11-29T03:01:00.000-08:00

This is a blurry photo, but you get the point!

IT Conference Mullet

2011-10-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Attending an IT conference this week and came across the awesome hair you see above. There were several other mullets encountered but I was just not quick enough on the draw with my smart phone. Man, it was awesome! I know the one on the far right is not a mullet, it was an extreme comb-over, nearly as awesome! Thanks to Ott Scolund, T$, The Cressler and Cyler Tarr for their support in working up the courage to snap these photos.

Welcome back to Obamaville!

2011-10-18T05:13:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken outside Orlando Florida, not the 3rd world. Hope and change we can believe in! People living in squalor and shanty towns. This is the fulfillment of Obama's borrow and spend stimulus heavy economic policy. Pay attention people, get ready to change course or you and your family may be moving to Obamaville!

The infinite race card

2011-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows the oldest trick in the democratic playbook. At the second you see the public realizing that your ideas and policies don't work, you yell as loud as you can: "RACISM!" Since we live in a hyper politically correct society, most policy makers and politicians will run for cover and cow to any demands made all in the name of being labeled a racist.

Well what happens when the race hustlers, poverty pimps and other diversity agitators run out of race cards? I mean, you can only play this card so many times before it becomes meaningless and people realize that there is no racism or any any shadow of prejudice in whatever scenario is being blamed on bigotry.

Right now, the president is in trouble on all fronts, his economic policy of taxing the rich [those who work] and giving to those who do not has failed. His borrow and spend stimulus policies have further degraded the US economy to the point where unemployment is at the highest levels in generations. Even people in his party are openly calling for a primary challenger. His jobs bill has been rejected outright by his own party in the Senate. His signature Health Care boondoggle is likely to be gutted as unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. To say it mildly, Obama is in deep political trouble. At this point, any republican candidate beats him semi-comfortably. He is quickly turning into Jimmy Carter 2.0 with a legacy of failed policies and one-term. Obama's core constituency that helped him crush grandpa McCain in 2008, the independent voter, is leaving him in droves and Team Obama knows it but won't yet publicly admit it. The sleepless nights for jack-booted thug David "The Stache" Axelrod continue.

Now that the president is clearly in the political fight of his life and at the end of his options for re-election next year, what does he do? Since Obama realizes it is very un-presidential to start pulling out th race card, he has his surrogates do it for him. We see it all over the place and look for more of it soon. Don't be fooled by the near hypnotic chants of racism, look at results and see where you want to throw your support.

Obama Fried Chicken: OFC?

2011-10-02T07:16:00.001-07:00

Apparently some ingenious Chinese businessmen have crossed Colonel Sanders and Obama to come up with a definite winning combination! Obama Fried Chicken. How could anyone not love this new restaurant!

Al Davis or Skeletor?

2011-09-26T19:42:00.001-07:00

I saw a photo of walking death Raiders owner Al Davis. The guy looks like he is only half alive. He is so bad off, he makes Skeletor look like a young man. When will Al Davis quit?

Birds of a feather flock together

2011-09-16T20:39:00.001-07:00

I was tasked by my wife to purchase some magazines for a friend of hers. I was forced to purchase an oprah magazine. As you can see I found some food for Oprah and Rosie and picked it up for them.

A new coloring book

2011-09-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

Apparently there is a coloring book depicting Al-Qaeda and their plans to attack the WTC and the aftermath and wars of the last 10 years culminating with Osama Bin laden hiding behind a woman as he was shot in the chest and face. I ordered a copy for my kids and liberal friends and family.

The creepiest of all stalkers

2011-08-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

The former Dictator of Libya, Mommar Qadaffi is in trouble. The Libyan rebels and NATO have basically run him and his gang from power. He ruled Libya with an iron fist. He sponsored terrorism and became an international pariah. His deed of mayhem and destruction are well known. Perhaps his creepiest move yet was his stalking and obsessing of former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. Apparently he had several photo albums full of her picture that were found in his palaces after the rebels broke in.

Could it get any creepier?

FACT: 61% dissaprove of a man riding a women's bike.

2011-08-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

This photo si not doctored in any way. Obama rides a women's bike. What gives?

Kenny Rogers Mullet?

2011-08-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

OK people. There is a marital dispute in our home. Myself and my wife have differing opinions on the disposition of this man's haircut. The crisis arose as this photo graph was being analyzed and sorted according to mullet type, breed and threat level. Can anyone determine if this is or is not a mullet haircut?

The 13th floor

2011-07-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Where is it?

More Spudman tales from long ago......

2011-07-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

The first year [2005] I competed in the Spudman I was not really conditioned well enough [230 lbs] to be doing an Olympic distance race. I probably should have started with a sprint distance race. I did not fully understand good nutrition practices for endurance racing. I took 2 energy gels before the swim, two after the swim and two after the bike leg before the run. Needless to say, that was way, way too much energy gel. Too make it worse I was hyper convinced I would get dehydrated so I had 2 20 oz water bottles and a full 2 liter camelback. I pounded straight red Gatorade the entire bike portion and carried two water bottles in the run. I finished the race but got really, really sick. I threw up a few times. The last time I got puke all over my shirt and pants. My sisters were at the race with me and made me ride in the back of the truck back to my in-laws house. It was horrible. I had no clue what I was doing and it showed. At least I finished though. I won't tell you my time because it was really, really bad. At that point, I vowed to conquer the Spudman as long as I was able.

Ladies and gentlemen: The FUTURE of America!

2011-07-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Get ready people, we are going to see a lot more of this!

Spudman tales from long ago....

2011-07-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

For several years [this is the 8th] I have competed in the Burley Lion's Spudman Triathlon. This is an Olympic distance triathlon that is very popular in the western united states. It is popular because the swim is in a river and also because of the family-friendly race atmosphere and the laid-back nature of the people who run it. This race is coming up next week and it is my favorite race that I look froward to all year. In 2008 I was probably in the best shape of my adult life and had worked very, very hard to get ready for that race. I had been working out 2 hours a day. Getting up at 4:30am for brick work-outs in the pool, on the bike and running hard. About 3 days before the 2008 race I started to get sick. I was nauseated and lethargic. As you can imagine I was very, very frustrated.

It got worse and the day before the race I just decided I would do the race no matter what. I had worked so hard that my good sense just evaporated. The night before we have a tradition of carb-loading with a big spaghetti dinner. Race day came and I gutted through the mile swim. As I was about 100 yards from the river exit, I vomited heavily. It made a slick of red sauce and chewed up spaghetti noodles. I just powered through and ran up the bank and into the bike transition area. I actually felt a lot better after this. As I was getting my bike gear on in the transition area, I could hear racers yelling and complaining about swimming through puke. One guy next to me was covered in chewed up noodles and was dry-heaving as he took off his wetsuit. I just quietly left as fast as possible. I later learned I had Cryptosporidium and was sick for another week. Hopefully this year I can stay healthy....

The Alleged "Fiscal Conservative Hero"????

2011-07-21T13:31:00.001-07:00

I saw this add at the drudgereport.com. It really surprised me. The guy in the picture is named Orin Hatch. He is a good man. He is an honorable man. He is a Senator that represents my state of Utah. He IS NOT a fiscal conservative. He voted for the TARP bill and has voted for all kinds of special interest pork-barrel projects through the years. Perhaps most troubling is his campaign promise in 1976 to only run for two terms. he missed that deadline over 20 years ago. When he initially ran against his opponent in 1976, he ran on the premise that his opponent had been in Washington too long [18 years] and that he would never do this himself. Orin Hatch has served Utah well. It is time for him to retire. I will be donating money to whoever runs against him for the republican nomination. Please do not send me messages about how we can't lose his influence and tenure, etc. We saw what happened to Bird-man Bob Bennett and his replacement has the same clout he thought he did. Bottom Line: Orin Hatch IS NOT a fiscal conservative and his voting record clearly proves this. It is time for Hatch to retire.

My rapidly escalating parenting failures

2011-07-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

My wife decided to go to a wedding in California this weekend. Being brave I agreed to watch all four kids for the weekend. After being in charge for only 18 hours, here are some of the incidents in order of lack of parenting skill

My 7 year old son got some Mountain Dew out of my truck, put some in a sippy cup and gave it to the 16-month old baby. She wouldn't go to sleep last night and I couldn't figure out why. This morning when I found the sippy cup I figured out why.

This space gun complete with flashing lights and ULTRA annoying laser sounds kept the 4 year old and 7 year old laughing for an hour when they were supposed to be sleeping. Stupid me should have realized that by merely taking away the gun I could have averted all of that.

This frightening KKK look-alike doll-baby is just plain creepy and weird. I thought it should make the list even though nothing happened with it.

Lastly, a huge met-down brawl between all of my boys occurred over these two lego guys.

Jimmy Carter has waited years for this moment!

2011-07-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Carter is thrilled that he will no longer have the dubious distinction of being the worst modern 1-term president. Obama and his failed economic policy have been exposed by the continued 9% unemployment rate. Obama's borrow and spend stimulus and bail-outs are wrecking the struggling economy and earning him a place next to Mr Peanut himself!

Mike Lee intelectually abuses Obama's treasury secretary

2011-07-08T05:21:00.000-07:00

Since Obama's plan to bankrupt the US Treasury through borrow and spend on welfare and entitlements is running into trouble, his effeminate attack-dog Timothy Geithner has decided that The president can raise the debt limit on his own. Freshman Senator Lee from Utah weighs in on this and make Geithner look like the poodle that he is.

Famous Mormon Mullets: Part I

2011-06-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

When talking about mullets in a predominately Mormon state, the first grand-father of all hardcore mullets must be Porter Rockwell. The guy was the original grit. He was pretty hardcore and was handing out beat-downs since the founding days of Mormonism. Porter was the body-guard of church founder Joseph Smith Jr. He was known as the "Destroying Angel" by his enemies and was surrounded in folklore before his death. He ran a brewery in Utah and was prophesied to never be harmed by his enemies as long as he never cut his hair. He was the original Utah Mullet. I would not mess with Porter. His hair and swagger are often copied but never replaced. He even has a restaurant named after him! This guy was about as tough as they came.

Mormon Political Figures: A Concise Primer

2011-06-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

This is a post for my non-Mormon readers and friends. Most of my friends and acquaintances know I am an active member of the LDS Church and know that I follow a pretty conservative political philosophy. I have been asked by several people and even some here about which kind of "Political Mormon" I am. Let me start by saying that there are very, very liberal Mormons and similarly there are very, very conservative Mormons. I would say that most Mormons tend to be pretty conservative. The tenants of the church lend to conservative ideas socially, economically and that ultimately means politically as well.

I will present my analysis on the four main Mormon political figures as I see it. There are many, many members of congress, the senate and many more still in state government and federal government. I do not speak for the church, these political figures or anyone but myself and these are my opinions. Feel free to agree or disagree.

1. Harry Reid - Harry is a Democrat Senator from the state of Nevada. he is hyper liberal by Mormon standards and is seen by some in the faith as a "Jack Mormon". That is a person who is a member oft he faith in name only. Harry and his sons have run a law firm in Clark county with shady origins and odd ties to the mob and organized labor. It seems clear that Harry's support among active members of teh LDS faith has declined pretty dramatically recently. Harry is about as liberal as you can get socially, economically and emotionally. He is a far-left liberal democrat. Surprisingly, there are some active LDS Church members who subscribe to Harry's belief system.

2. John Huntsman Jr. - Smilin John is the son of a church leader and former republican Governor of Utah. Junior tends to be pretty wishy-washy and tough to pin down depending on who he is around and who he is trying to influence. His global-warming pact with the governor of California and his brown-nosing of the Obama in addition to his "soft-denial" of his LDS Church membership has made him pretty unpopular in Utah and with most active members of the LDS Church. His Barbie-esque wife and his penchant for aggrandizing has made him the "Rameumptom" of Mormon political figures. He leans pretty left politically but will at times try and morph into a conservative when he thinks it will help him. He likely has fewer Mormon supporters than harry Reid at this point in his wishy-washy political career.

3. Mitt Romney - Mitt is the former Republican Governor of Massachusetts and leader of the Salt Lake Organizing Committee. Mitt has had his share of flip-flops on different social issues. Gay marriage, Socialized medicine and gun control to name a few. Mitt has a squeaky clean family man image and has been a local church leader as well. Mitt's biggest struggle is his sometimes disingenuous and robotic appearance. Mitt is a pretty moderate guy politically but has tried to lean right in recent years. His new found desire to join the NRA in 2006 signals his desire to shift right. Mitt was a very successful businessman and son of the Governor of Michigan. Mitt, like Huntsman comes from a family of privilege. A great deal of active LDS Church members support Romney. It would be my guess that most Church members identify with Romney and his philosophies [even though they likely do not deeply understand them].

4. Glenn Beck - Talk-show host, convert Mormon, author and now famous Libertarian. Glenn Beck is probably the farthest right-wing prominent member of the LDS Church. Glenn has become the poster-child for some elements of the conservative Tea-party and it's affiliates. Glenn is a recovering alcoholic and famous on-air crier. Glenn is active in the church and has supported and championed many conservative causes. He has reached the big-time with his shows on CNN and Fox news. Glenn in recent times has alienated himself from the traditional main-stream republican party because of their lack of action on illegal immigration and fiscal spending. Glenn commands a great deal of support from within the LDS Church membership, probably second only to Mitt.

Well, who do you align with most tent Trash? I would say that I am probably closest to Glenn Beck but without the deep Libertarian leanings. I share some moderate views that would be close to Romney. I am going to say that I fall in between Beck and Romney, probably closer to Beck. Breckney?

The Death of Personal Responsibility

2011-06-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

Nobody can say for sure the exact date of death or the definitive cause of death but I can say that based on my observations, personal responsibility is essentially dead in the United States. I can look back in my own history and in the history of our country and see times and experiences where people just did what had to be done to make it. Now, I see complaining, excuses and more complaining. I don't see any "politically correct" solution either. Sorry folks, I call it how I see it. Everywhere I look i see people with self-inflicted problems who refuse to be accountable or responsible for them. Let me give you some examples. I know a guy who works as a laborer for a city department. He makes a reasonable hourly wage but will never reach his full potential because he chose to party and "hang out" when he could have been in college or trade school. He refuses to even consider educating himself or improving his situation in any way. He feels that the government, state or some other organization should educate him and coddle him and take care of him. He feels it is completely and totally unfair that he has to live in an apartment and drive a $5,000 car. he thinks that he deserves a brand-new vehicle, ATVs, watercraft, new clothes and exotic vacations. Why? because the kids he grew up with have those things now. He fails to realize that he made his choices and he and only he is responsible for his choices. It is maddening. Good luck to him.

One only need to look at the "housing crisis" that is still unfolding here in the US. Essentially, a whole bunch of people bought houses and other property that they could not afford on risky credit. One only need to use a couple brain cells to figure out what would happen. Of course, the artificially valued properties fell in value and the owners went broke or lost their jobs or insert any other "life happens" moment in. Now what? Well, of course, since it is sad and unfair, the government must step in and "fix" the problem. It would be too hard for these people to lose their homes or actually suffer from the poor choices they made. Gosh Tent Trash, that is pretty harsh? You are mean, heartless jerk, these people have feelings too! So what. They lack integrity and responsibility to let someone else bail them out and destroy the economy for everyone else.

Back in ancient history [before the emergence of the nanny welfare state] you know, before the 1930s, when something went bad, it went bad and people had to deal with it. If they didn't, natural selection did. My ancestors, like most people'
s ancestors were poor farmers and agricultural people. If they did not work, simply put, they did not eat. It does not take long to figure out what happens if you do not have food. Wow, that is so unfair, you mean they would starve? Yes, I mean they would starve.

I know of another man who has seen his marriage end and his family life basically fall apart because of his own selfish choices. He consistently cheated on his spouse and found ways to lie and cheat through a job and military career until it all caught up with him. In the end he was not man-enough to admit his poor choices and correct them. Instead he blamed others and his "addictions" for all of his problems. His counselors and therapists do not really help either when they simply prescribe him an anti-depressant to make everything better and help him excuse his way out of his bad and selfish decisions. Everywhere I turn I see catastrophically poor choices and little or no personal responsibility or any evidence of self-control.

If there is to be any kind of hope for our children's future and for our country, we need a healthy dose of personal responsibility and accountability to make it happen. Otherwise, we are all pretty-much screwed.....

Utah's Badge of Honor: Best Gun Laws in the USA

2011-05-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month, the eternal-do-gooder, liberal mind-control group "The Brady Campaign" issued it's state by state report on which states have the most restrictive gun laws. In the report, each state was scored on how far each state goes to restrict each citizen's 2nd Amendment right to bear arms. Of course, "The Brady Campaign" erroneously believes that restricting law-abiding citizen's ability to own firearms will reduce violent crime and gun deaths. Their idiotic notion could not be farther from the truth. The 3 states which scored 0 out of 100 in the report were: Arizona, Alaska and yes, the Beehive state: Utah. Two of those three states have the lowest rates of violent crime in the nation. Why do we think that is? It is pretty simple. If you are a criminal and you are thinking of breaking into a home or holding someone up, you are going to think twice if you think their is a high-likelihood the homeowner or citizen is armed.

Cinco De Mayo: Tent Trash Style!

2011-05-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

We had a Cinco De Mayo party last night and I decided to dress up in an appropriate costume. great night, great party, good times!

Mark Shurtleff and his "Reasonable Expectations"

2011-05-04T05:46:00.000-07:00

Mark Shurtleff is the Attorney General of the State of Utah. He is an elected official. His job is to enforce the law in the State of Utah. Besides the Governor he is the top law enforcement official for the state. Mark Shurtleff wrote an editorial in the Provo paper. You can read it here. In his editorial he claims that Illegal immigration is a minor offense that should be ignored. Kind of like speeding. He also foolishly and in a more alarming manner claims that the "rule of law" is an outdated mode of thinking. He claims that one only need to "try" and comply with the law and that this alone is sufficient. Under this failed and foolish thinking, one could also argue that bank robbery, murder, sexual assault or any otehr illegal activity might not be all that bad depending on your definition of the "rule of law" and how it should be applied. This ridiculous and flawed thinking is also called "the philosophy of man". This justification of illegal activity is very disappointing coming from the Attorney General of the state of Utah. With all of his legal training you would think even he would be able to see how pathetic it sounds. His purpose in writing the editorial can no doubt be traced to the the unconstitutional amnesty bill recently passed in Utah. since most thinking Utahans don't support his amnesty bill, he felt compelled to write this emotional toilet paper of a piece to somehow try and justify and support his weak and flawed position on the bill. In the end, HB 116 will either be repealed, thrown out in court or made irrelevant by national law. Please Mr. Shurtleff, spare yourself the further humiliation and give up before you look even more stupid and pathetic.

Osama got Jimmered!

2011-05-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

A new use for the name turned verb!

Soccer Guy

2011-04-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today was Soccer day. I have three kids on teams this year so our Saturdays are packed with youth soccer. We have been going to soccer games for a few years now and every year we see parents who get too into it. Today we ran into a guy who has a child on one of our kid's teams. He was pacing the sidelines frantically, criticizing the other team's coach. Criticizing our team's coach, criticizing the players and everyone except himself. As you can see, he stood behind the goal telling the kids what to do. Complete with Oakley Razor sunglasses and a blue-tooth ear piece. It is beyond annoying. He was spouting off to me and I politely said: "You know, I really don't want to hear that right now." I think he got the message. At least for a little while. He went back over behind the goal. I usually really enjoy watching my kids play sports. This will be my least favorite part of soccer season. Stay tuned for more updates on "Soccer Guy".

The Bacon Bar

2011-04-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

My sister understands the art of Mullet hunting and brought me this specialized Bacon candy from a recent trip to the south. You may remember my bacon wallet from a couple years ago. Apparently she did. My kids ended up eating the bacon bar and seemed to enjoy it. I am kind of surprised that this fad has not taken off yet. Things have been pretty intense in my life recently. There are a lot of pressing topics to get too. Stay tuned!

Color Confusion

2011-04-19T04:51:00.000-07:00

This is not the first time I have had serious questions about color names. Long time readers may remember this topic a few years ago here. Things are getting really out of hand now that we have a shade of blue called "spindrift". What is the heck does that even mean?

Ancient 10 commandments inscriptions on a rock in New Mexico?

2011-04-15T03:07:00.000-07:00

There is a rock in the middle of nowhere near the town of Los Lunas, New Mexico. Itis called the Los Lunas Decalogue Stone. On this rock are inscribed a script that is very similar to Hebrew that bears an almost identical translation of the ten commandments. This was discovered in the 1850s. There is lots of debate about when it is dated from and vandalism and no upkeep will make this debate hard to solve conclusively. How did this get here? If this is not a forgery there are some exceptionally interesting conclusions that can be drawn. I will let the reader draw his or her own. This is very, very interesting to me.

Green Salad with fruit removes manhood.

2011-04-07T19:51:00.001-07:00

I am going to state the obvious for all who have not realized it yet. Fruit on green salads is disgusting and is sure to cause the complete and total loss of any manhood found in the body of any male that eats this sort of food. You can call it close-minded. I will call it truth. Some things were surely invented by the feminists of the late 1960's and early 1970's to weaken the resolve of men everywhere. Yes, this nasty concoction has surely weakened the collective manhood of the entire world. My co-workers tried to trick me into eating this. Too bad for them, it DID NOT WORK!

A True American Super Hero!

2011-04-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the future of America!

Body Fluid Cleanup Kit

2011-04-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today I rode on a school bus for one of my children's field trip. You can see what was strapped to the front panel of the inside of the bus in plain site for all to see. I actually asked the driver about the kit and offer to demonstrate it. he said that he has had the kit since 2001 and used it 10 or 15 times, mostly for urine and vomit. I am glad I am not a bus driver.

Revolvers making a comeback?

2011-03-21T02:34:00.001-07:00

Ever since I purchased my first handgun, I have always thought of revolvers as inaccurate, clunky, outdated, lame and old. Recently, I have started to think it might be fun to have a few revolvers laying around. They are typically louder than semi-auto pistols, they can also make you feel like Dirty Harry too!

The Miracle of LEGAL Immigration

2011-03-12T19:27:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago a friend and colleague at work was sworn in as a US Citizen. This man has LEGALLY come to America as a student and later legally obtained working privileges and eventually full US Citizenship. This man is a giant of a human being as well as an honorable husband, father and brilliant software tester and the exact kind of man we want to come to the US. The process he had to follow to become a US Citizen was brutal, time consuming and expensive. It should be. Becoming a US citizen should be something that is difficult and earned. This man served in the South Korean Army and is a loyal, hard working American who takes care of his wife, family and helps in his community and church. He is pretty much a hero to me. Him and people like him, regardless of where they come from should be welcomed here when they do what it takes to come here LEGALLY. Just sneaking across the border is not earning it. It is cheating and every time we let someone do it and get away with it, we mock honorable men like my friend who worked and sacrificed so much to earn it. My friend is a patriot and citizen. Welcome to Citizenship Ben!

Put the microphone down and go home!

2011-03-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

A congressman from Florida was asked about the Koran at a townhall meeting and called out a CAIR moron and made him look like the fool that he is. Excellent.

The Mullet Removal Specialists

2011-02-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

ladies and Gentleman, I give you the most righteous barber shop in America.

Sic Semper Tyrannis

2011-02-25T01:53:00.000-08:00

A motto we can all live by!

Wal-Mart power mullet

2011-02-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

This photo was snapped last week by a loyal reader named McKott Sell. He is an amateur mullet hunter and brave soul. He encountered this androgynous mullet creature in a wal-mart in Utah. McKott was unable to identify the gender of the mulleted creature but was wise enough to keep a safe distance. As always, if you see a mullet, proceed with caution, observe, orient, decide and finally, if brave enough act [take a picture] and send it to me!

Pseudo-Intellectuals and their symptoms

2011-02-20T00:33:00.000-08:00

I have been annoyed lately by a class of people who I will only refer to as "pseudo" or "pretend" intellectuals. They are becoming more and more annoying. How do you know when you know one? Check the signs below.

1. One who attempts to flex intellectual muscle that does not exist within his or her own mind.
2. They create wildly complicated job or position titles for themselves, only to later reveal they are unemployed or underemployed.
3. Can probably be found with a thesaurus in hand, while posting on facebook, twitter or blogger, looking up new insults that are synonymous with "stupid" in order to boost his or her own undeserved ego.
4. Typical cases of pseudo-intellectualism involve prepubescent 15 year old that think they have everything figured out, including, but not limited to: philosophy, socioeconomic, destiny of humanity, life, religion, politics, education, relationship issues. Ironically, they have never quite experienced or been successful with any of the aforementioned.
5. Acting "eccentric" to differentiate themselves from the masses as to seem unique, even though their kind are quite common. Then, they consistently criticizing members of a religion, community or family the used to belong too. When asked a serious intellectual question they give a blank stare.
6. A person who is controversial for the sake of being controversial. Typically a hypocrite; creates many, many contradictions.
7. Always ends a lame "argument" with, "I win, so shut up." Win what, idiot? Your opinions weren't fact in the first place.
8. Somebody that tries too hard to not be "typical" by saying they like whatever isn't the trend.
9. They intentionally try and "shock" people by doing something mildly controversial that they would normally never do, only for the sake of the "shock value" in the end, they always just end up looking stupid.
10. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart". But, these pseudo-intellectuals believe in God only during the festive season or in times of trial.
11. A pseudo-intellectual is someone who is too stupid to realize they are a pseudo-intellectual. This person is well armed with defense mechanisms, is extremely caustic and passive aggressive in the interest of protecting and preserving their delusions of grandeur.

Happy Valentines Day People!

2011-02-15T02:46:00.000-08:00

All I can say is WOW! This goes way beyond all of the stigmas about "online dating" and takes depressing Valentine's day to a new level. I have had my share of depressing Valentines but wow!

Tent Trash The Life Coach

2011-02-09T19:54:00.001-08:00

From time to time I get some pretty odd questions on my feedback page here. Everything from career questions, BYU team questions, mullet hunting questions, relationship questions, etc. I was inspired today by a co-worker to solicit questions and prove I can be a "life coach". All of this for free. Go to the form and ask away. I posted the photo of me receiving my Nobel Peace Prize for Global Swarming to impress everyone. I am sure Al Gore and Obama are proud of me.

Freak Of The Week: Volume IX

2011-02-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

This piece of human garbage named Bonnie April Myers decided to rob a 7-11 in Newport New Virginia with a plastic fork. She left the convenience store and within minutes the police arrived. Of course they tackled her and what did they find with the $23.00 she just stole? A loaded 9mm pistol. She was so drugged out she didn't realize she had a real weapon and instead broke out the plastic fork from the hot-dog condiment tray. Another example of what drugs do for our society.

Taking things too Literally?

2011-01-31T05:48:00.000-08:00

Above you see my son's math worksheet from a few months back. He answered the question correctly. If I were the teacher I would have marked his answer correct.

The Official Pistol of the State of Utah

2011-01-25T01:38:00.000-08:00

It is official, the Utah legislature votes tomorrow on an excellent bill. HB 219 will officially designate the Browning 1911A1 .45 automatic pistol as the "Official State Pistol of Utah". It was initially designed and released in 1911 and this year in 2011 as the 100 year anniversary, Utah wisely plans to honor it's creator, legendary firearms designer John M. Browning.

This inspired man was a native Utahn and huge contributor to the American arsenal and his direct genius and influences are still seen on the battlefield today. The M2 Browning machine gun he designed back in 1918 is still in use to this day. He was an amazing man and I am very pleased Utah is doing the right thing by making one of his crowning designs the official state pistol.

Liberal Ding-Dong Keith Olbermann finally fired

2011-01-22T03:02:00.001-08:00

Political spokes-mouth, liberal commentator, democratic cheerleader and bed wetter Keith Olbermann has been fired from MSNBC. Apparently after having the lowest rated political show for 6 years straight will do this to you. It seems that the nit-wits at MSNBC finally realized that when a political commentator fails to deliver ideas that resonate with anyone aside from the ultra-liberal .00001% of America that actually wants a Bolshevik revolution in America, you may need to go a different direction. I used to watch Keith from time to time when I needed to be reminded of the sheer hatred and stupidity of the far-left in America. I won't miss him or his bed-wetting.

Obama's duplicity on China

2011-01-20T03:51:00.000-08:00

Recently, Obama and his gang hosted a glitzy dinner party for the dictator of COmmunist China, Hu Jintao. They pulled out all the stops and had a full-blown red Chinese extravaganza in his honor. Obama hugged him, talked about how excited he was that China has basically single-handedly devalued the once mighty American dollar into oblivion and destabilized our interests in Asia. Now, rewind to last February, Obama visited with the Dhali Lama quietly for a couple minutes and then had him leave through the back door with the presidential trash.

Gosh Tent Trash, why should we care? Well let me tell you why we should care. The Communist Government of China invaded the peaceful sovereign nation of Tibet and by force took it over. After this time in the 1950's the Communist regime wiped out religious shrines, eradicated the culture language and traditions of the peaceful Tibetan people. The cultural genocide all happened under the smiling face of the cruel murdered and petty Dictator: Chairman Mao ZeDong. This thug and war criminal systematically destroyed the language, religion, self-determination and fabric of the Tibetan society. This was after he killed 60 million of his own people. Of course as loyal un-thinking Amercans we are supposed to nod and say: "No big deal, Chairman Mao, like our thoughtful president was just doing what the people really needed and even though the people of Tibet had no say, kind of like how we as American's have no say, he did what was best for the ignorant, superstitious religious people of Tibet".

Obama threw a party for a Communist Dictator and threw the leader of an occupied country in exile out like the trash. This should be very concerning if you wonder where Obama stands on Freedom and repression of free people everywhere.

The Japanese Tent Trash

2011-01-17T20:52:00.001-08:00

Today I went to Benihana. This is of course, my family's favorite Japanese restaurant. I feel like I am from Japan whenever I eat here. Never mind the fact that I have hard time using chopsticks. Never mind the minor detail that I am at least a foot taller than the average Japanese male. Disregard the simple fact that Sushi disgusts me. Ignore the touristy Benihana hat, I feel like I am from the land of the rising sun!

You may be arrested?

2011-01-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

You will not be arrested. You will be given free health care, free education, a translator to take you through the voting booth, free housing, free reproductive rights and of course your Miranda rights and don't worry about any papers, feel free to steal someone's identity and make up SS numbers, etc. No consequences here!

Captain EO: A Legend is back

2011-01-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

Two years ago I posted about Michael Jackson and the Captain EO ride at Disneyland. The joke was that since Michael Jackson was busted as a pedophile and a disgraced pervert, his ride was taken out of Disneyland and the employees told to not talk about it. Well since the King of Pop died and his popularity soared once his ongoing legal issues ended, the ride is back. Weird as ever, Micheal in some strange phase of many plastic surgeries appears with high pitched voice acting like a super-hero. Awesome stuff.

Happy New Year Skullet!

2011-01-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

This dangerous breed of mullet called the "skullet" was spotted at Mimi's Cafe in Anaheim California. Yes, across the street from Disneyland. It was a scary moment but I did snap this photo.

iRenew Braclet Scam

2010-12-27T22:26:00.000-08:00

I saw these snake-oil bracelets on late night TV a few weeks ago and then saw them on sale in wal-mart. I took a photo with my camera. I did some research online and found that the shady company that makes this pathetic product. Apparently there are a few hundred complaints per day with the BBB and the FTC and the rest of Obama's goons are out to get the company that makes these. My thought is: if you are stupid enough to purchase one, you should lose your $19.99. Come on people, a piece of plastic and cheap tin won't give you any health benefit. When a products reads: "May help promote......" , reasonable people should smell a rat from a mile away.....

Economic Plate for the unemployed to eat from

2010-12-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

Anyone hungry?

Utah's Pathetic Senators

2010-12-19T18:33:00.000-08:00

Here you see our fearless republican senators from Utah. On the right we have the pathetic Bob Bennett wearing an engineers cap. Apparently he thinks he is still 5 and wants to drive trains for a living. This would be akin to the way he has driven our country into a financial train-wreck. Luckily, this dishonest politician was thrown from power and got creamed in the primary. On the left is an equally pathetic figure: Senator Orrin Hatch. Orrin the once conservative member of congress was a co-sponsor of the Dream Act. This legislation would have given amnesty to illegal aliens. Bail-Out Bob [also known as Bird-Man Bob] voted for this and Orrin "The COWARD" Hatch skipped the vote altogether because he wants to try and please everyone. I am making a prediction right now. Orrin "the Coward" Hatch will not be re-elected in 2012. I am willing to put my money where my mouth is on this one.

Welcome to Kenya!

2010-12-14T03:20:00.001-08:00

Satan's Breakfast Cereal: Müslix

2010-12-08T05:24:00.000-08:00

How could we not have a serious discussion regarding Satan's favorite foods without talking about Müslix. This unholy concoction of grains, fruit and colon tingling fiber was around in the US back in the 1980s. Thankfully, Kellog's removed Müslix from the American market soon after it was introduced. Good for us and bad for Canadians because you can still buy it in the 51st state. Why the hate on Müslix? Simply put, the stuff tasted like cardboard and the marketing that tried to convince us that "all thing European" are good is lame. Anything that is marketed to me with the tag-line "Europe's finest" is a non-starter, even as a kid I knew this eternal truth. Perhaps it was a deep seated fear that if I ate the cereal I might start wearing leather pants and prancing around like most European men. Satan himself pours a tall bowl of this nasty blend of oppression in a box.

Satan's Meat: Honey Glazed Ham

2010-12-07T11:22:00.000-08:00

Since we are talking about Satan's favorite food, how could we not mention the most vile of all pork dishes, Honey Glazed Ham. Pure Tent Trash eating etiquette calls for not putting sugar on meat. This is against the Tent Trash code of ethics. I feel gross just thinking about the big, gristle-filled slab of sugar coated meat. My distaste for pork started while living in Brazil and seeing giant pigs running wild in the street eating human sewage. since we know that animals are what they eat, I was turned off for good. While do still enjoy sausage and bacon as well as the occasional pork-chop, the sugary syrupy taste just flat-out makes me gag. Now that we have cleared the air, stay tuned for our next chapter in Satan's diet.

Satan's Sandwich Spread: Miracle Whip

2010-12-05T18:38:00.001-08:00

Alright people, it is time for all of the loyal readers to understand what Satan himself spreads on his sandwich. Yes, Miracle Whip! This disgusting concoction of oil, sugar and Satan's special secret ingredients has been making people grossed out rapidly and slowly killing many others. You see, this is how Lucifer works. He slowly tricks people into thinking that Miracle Whip tastes good and make you feel "cool". In real life your taste buds are squirming and trying to jump out of your mouth as this vile paste gushes down your throat. Please America, abandon Miracle Whip and go back to the promised land of sandwich spread, plain old Mayonnaise.

Iraqi candy Bombing

2010-12-03T21:07:00.000-08:00

Gridlock or Genius?

2010-11-30T09:09:00.000-08:00

One of the most amazing and ingenious features of our inspired form of government are the careful checks and balances put in place by our founding fathers. You are probably thinking: "What are you talking about Tent Trash?" I know that it is not politically correct to look at the founding fathers as inspired people, but I firmly believe they were. The system of checks and balances keep one branch of government from doing extreme things and make it so it is really, really tough to radically change the form of government. The psychopathic left-wing media in our country call this "gridlock". in other words, because Obama, Pelosi and Reid can't institute their radical brand of socialism easily, we have as they call it "gridlock". Without a boring civics lesson, let's describe these 3 branches of government in this way:

Executive Branch: -- The president and vice president. They govern via executive order and by appointing cabinet members and via political party [in my view extra-constitutionally] appointments in the legislative branch.

Legislative Branch: -- These are the lawmakers. The two houses of congress: The US Senate and the US House of representatives. These folk make laws and approve budgets.

Judicial Branch -- This is the supreme court and the rest of our judges. These are appointed by the president and serve for life or until they choose to step down.

None of these branches have absolute power. In fact, each one of the can override the otehr in some cases and balance the 3 forms of power. This is the part that really bothers Obama and other socialists who want to "revolutionize" America through their radical agenda. The Founding Father's wisely sought to limit the power any one individual or group could posses in our government. This makes Obama and his cronies angry. It makes me grateful and happy.

What does the TSA want?

2010-11-23T05:38:00.001-08:00

We have seen much about the humiliating and intrusive searches and so-called "pat downs" taking place at airports across the US. We have seen photos and videos of nuns being groped, children strip searched, cancer patients humiliated, grandmas in wheel-chairs molested by creepy guys with piercings and all the rest of the unconstitutional [see 4th amendment] searches. The question is, why is Granite Janet doing this? We know that she is a militant lesbian, we also know that she is a loyal member of the church of liberalism and will do whatever her priest in the temple of liberalism [Obama] tells her to do. So the question remains, why is a pervert, militant lesbian demanding that all Americans who fly be subject to such intrusive searches?

In my mind, the answer is really quite simple. CONTROL! Granite Janet is filling her wishes to control, humiliate and subjugate the American populace. She, as her liberal handlers demand, wants to completely CONTROL you and your family. They want you to know that they can do whatever they want to you, whenever they want and this just the first step. Remember the liberal ACLU that is supposed to be watching out for our privacy and freedoms? They get really worked up when a Muslim isn't allowed to wear their burka in a driver's license photo but have been pretty quiet about millions of American 4th Amendment rights being stomped on.

Remember after 9/11 when we were all asked to take our shoes off at the airport screening? It seemed inconvenient but we all did it gladly. Remember when they started banning gels and any kind of liquid? Again, inconvenient and a little annoying but we all wanted to help and did it. Now they are running us through machines giving us huge doses of radiation while a pervert watches happily in a dark room down the hall. If we decline to be peeped on, we get molested and humiliated in public by a guy wearing nose-rings and covered in tattoos. Sadly, we are now under control.......

Goodbye my friend

2010-11-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

My friend Scott passed away yesterday. He was a wonderful person and friend. He was an amazing husband, father, brother, son, inventor, radio talk-show host, engineer, returned missionary, trail runner, sportsman, outdoorsman, hiker, triathlete, hunter, runner, mountain biker, priesthood holder and friend to all he knew. I met Scott lifting weights in the South Davis Rec Center in 2007. He spotted me countless times and always encouraged me to push harder with heavier weights. I will never forget how intense he was in the weight room and how gentle he was with his young daughter. He taught me better run and bike cadence and even beat me in the 2009 Spudman that I talked him into doing! He is one of the last classical men.

Hey Obama! What now?

2010-11-14T14:48:00.000-08:00

Obama and his minions are literally in melt-down mode. His ultra-liberal, quasi-socialist policies, leadership style and approach to government were resoundingly rejected by the American electorate 2 weeks ago and what has "The Messiah" decided to do?

Well, before the election he notoriously called republicans "enemies" and predicted "hand-to-hand combat" for the next two years.

After the election Obama King said he would seek "mid-course corrections" and recently he also said he would "seek ideas from both sides of the aisle." It seems like Obama does not really know what he wants to do. It seems like he is as incompetent, clueless and inexperienced as we all thought. Come on Mr. Obama, do the right thing and resign.......

Ding Dong Nancy is dead!

2010-11-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Tent Trash Book Report: Trickle-Up Poverty

2010-11-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Election day! In honor of our democracy I am reviewing the latest book I have read.

Obama the False Messiah

2010-11-01T02:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in Chicago, Obama and his cronies showed up for some kind of quasi-important meeting. One of the poor souls who was tricked into worshiping Obama keeled in reverence as the false messiah drove by. Truly Sad! This photo actually frightens me for America. What will people like this man think when Obama is revealed as the fraud he really is?

Obama's Gestapo?

2010-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

When will Obama actually try and create his version of the Gestapo or SA? Answer: Now, see Charles Rangel's new bill HR 5741 here.

Liberalism is a mental disorder: Example 2398

2010-10-26T04:35:00.000-07:00

What are the differences between a liberal and a conservative? There are many differences one of the main differences, one of many, are the different perspectives on personal accountability and personal responsibility. The conservative tends to be a strong supporter of personal responsibility and accountability while the liberal believes that these principles to be “unfair”, “means spirited” and so forth. You may be thinking, “Wow Tent Trash, those are pretty strong statements!” Well, they are, let me back them up with some examples and some perspectives.
When I was in high School, I did not apply myself as much as I should have and did not focus on my studies as much as I should have for some of the time. As a consequence of my behavior, I received low grades and was perceived by some of my teachers as a “slacker”. When the start of my junior year came, my parents started asking me questions like: “How are you going to go to college with grades like that?” Or the all too familiar: “Do you want to be a manual laborer for your career?”

I soon realized that I really needed to try harder and work toward a goal of getting a college education. Lucky for me my parents helped me understand the need for an education as well as the doors that education would open for me. I was not a perfect student but it is sufficient to say that I tried harder in high school, my grades improved and I did go to college and receive and excellent education. This education has radically changed my earning potential and my ability provide for my family. Let me say it in one simple sentence. My hard work, sacrifice and patience improved my standard of living and the standard of living of my family. My former teachers probably still think of me as a “slacker” though.

Now let’s have a look at some of my classmates at that time. I have kept in contact with a few of them and others I see on facebook from time to time. Let’s look at one we will call “Gary Johnson”. I knew Gary well and used to joke around with him for the first couple years of high school. He was a similar achieving student [slacker] as I was except for whatever reason Gary never really improved. In fact, he did not graduate from High School. He quit about half-way through his senior year to work at a car parts store. At the time I remember him making fun of me for not having my own car and still living with my parents. Flash forward 20 years.

Gary still works at a car parts store part-time because full-time is just “too stressful”. He lives in his parent’s basement rent free. He has three children with three different women; he does not pay child support for any of them; he complains about the “evil and greedy conservatives” to me once in awhile on facebook. After a few of his insults online I asked him what he did with his money and he indicated that he spent it on beer, NASCAR and “the ladies”. It seems his choices and lack of personal responsibility and lack of personal accountability have made him into what most people would call “a loser”. I do not think he is a bad person. I do not feel that I am better than him. I do however feel that his poor life choices have put him at a significant disadvantage to others economically, socially and most likely emotionally and maybe even spiritually.

Gary feels that since he made bad choices, other people who made better choices and worked harder and applied themselves more do not deserve to have more than him. Since the State and Federal government provide free food [WIC], free healthcare, free rent [section 8 housing] and anything else Gary or his kids and harem need, what is his motivation to improve himself and be more responsible with his choices? Since our liberal lawmakers have decided in some measure to end personal accountability and personal responsibility or at least significantly soften the consequences, we are demotivating and destroying entire generations and classes or people. This is just one of countless examples of the differentiation between liberalism and conservatism.

Napoleon Dynamite Cartoon Series

2010-10-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

Last week it was made official! Napoleon Dynamite is coming back as a cartoon series! Woo Hoo!

The Salt Lake YWCA does what?

2010-10-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

I drove through downtown Salt Lake yesterday and this shiny new building caught my eye. I was impressed by the bold statement that the YWCA is making. It is the ultimate organizational race card.

Creepy People who drive vans: Part III

2010-10-12T03:55:00.000-07:00

Last week I visited a company up in the putrid town of West Valley City. You will of course remember from the Tent Trash ground-breaking research on Migratory Patterns of Utah mullets that West Valley City has a high concentration of Mullets and Meth addicts. Of course the visit went well to the company and the subsequent visit to a local Chinese buffet produced a blue kidnapper van which curiously had the back windows spray painted on the outside. This caused me to ask more questions. Here they are:

1. Why would someone spray-paint the outside windows on a big blue van?
2. What was it doing in West Valley City?
3. Were there any kidnapping victims in the van when it was parked at the buffet?
4. Where were the mullets coming from?
5. Where were the mullets going?
6. Did they enjoy their Chinese food?
7. Why were their curtains directly behind the driver's seat that obscured any view into the back portion of the van?
8. Was Obama involved?
9. How did I get the courage to take the photos?

Obama's Reality check

2010-10-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

On June 3rd 2008, Barack Hussein Obama said the following at a campaign rally:

“I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless. This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.”

He claimed he would:

1. Fix unemployment.
2. Heal the sick.
3. Solve Global Warming.
4. End wars.
5. Restore America's Image.

Over two years later has even come close to accomplishing any of these? If anything, he has made every single one far worse.....

Lipstick on a Pig

2010-10-08T12:19:00.001-07:00

The Hollywood Sewer Pipe

2010-09-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

The media coming out of Hollywood these days is utter garbage and filth. We as a society are having filth and garbage pumped into our minds at every turn. Let me explain with some analogies.

When I was about 21 years old I was a poor struggling person who was desperately trying to work and save money for college and my future. At that time the only jobs I could get were working on a utility crew installing sewer lines and as a waiter in a run-down Italian restaurant working for a corrupt Greek man. On the utility crew we installed vacuum sewer lines. For 99% of the time we were installing new lines that never had any of the yucky stuff in them. However, when we had to hook up a home to new line someone had to cut into the existing sewer line off of the house and connect it with the stub that was at each residential home. I had to do this on several occasions and it was awful. I will never forget the putrid smells from those hard days. The whole crew would argue over who had to do it and would procrastinate, fight and even wrestle over who had to perform this filthy part of the job. We hated it so much and found no fair way to decide who had to do it that eventually we just decided to take turns.

Anyway, now days the garbage being created in the form of TV, film, music, art and online content is just staggeringly poor. Think of anything vile and disgusting and Hollywood will put a bow on it and pump it over the airwaves straight into your home. If you are a parent you need to get involved with what your kids are watching, listening to, browsing and ingesting. This filth is being produced, marketed and spoon-fed to you, your kids and anyone else who the creeps in Hollywood can find. It is my opinion that Hollywood has a certain form of morality that I do not subscribe to and do not want to be associated with and nearly all of their work is trying to push us toward their form of morality. Some of this is done openly, some of it is done subversively and some of it is done carefully and in ways that young people simply cannot discern as easily as adults. Let's turn the pipe off!

Both Major Political Parties Are Corrupt

2010-09-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

I used to think that the Republican party could do no wrong. I used to regularly donate, volunteer and vote straight "R" down the ticket. I always knew the Democratic party stood for abortion, affirmative action, higher taxes, outrageously ridiculous social programs, etc. They still do. About 2001 I started to see some pretty crooked things happening within the Republican party I put up with it and tried to look the other way. By 2004 I had all but given up on the Republicans and started to consider myself a "conservative independent". Then with the shameful campaign run by Grandpa McCain I knew the Republican party was what I thought it was, a "country club" for rich entitled people who were out of touch with reality. Voting for them seemed like a semi-reasonable proposition when you compared them to people like Obama, Harry "Jack-Mormon" Reid and Nancy "Wicked Witch" Pelosi. Then came the bail-outs and President Bush's support of it. Then we have the case of Bob Bennett, the once honest, proud and conservative politician who let the financial industry get him to vote for their legislation in exchange for campaign donations and job s for his sons and son-in-laws. He was incensed when the people [gasp] actually threw him from power in the primaries. To this day he blames "those darn tea-partiers who refused to do what they were told".

Obama vs. Darth Vader

2010-09-16T18:34:00.001-07:00

Who wins? Anti-American, Liberal Psycho against part-robot, masochist? It would be a great cage match.

Porter Rockwell Mullet

2010-09-14T06:59:00.001-07:00

I snapped this dangerous action photo last week on my phone. As you can see the guy on the right was not wearing a shirt, had more back hair than a bear and a greasy "western" mullet. It was far to dangerous to attempt a frontal photo. Him and his warm-necked companion had just loaded up their cooler with beer and were heading for the trailer park to drown their sorrows. The guy on the right had a wispy "uncle mikey" mullet and a NASCAR shirt for good measure. Welcome to Lehi Utah people!

I could be illegal?

2010-09-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine came by my office and showed me a shirt he bought at a fair. I thought is was interesting so I had my photo taken in it. Pretty Awesome!

Leaving the Democratic Plantation

2010-09-07T09:13:00.001-07:00

I have posted several times about the democratic plantation with it's own brand of racism and institutional slaughter of African-American babies and it's strategy for keeping minorities oppressed and addicted to welfare. I ran across a group called "The Runaway slave Project" which shares my views and beliefs regarding this topic. They are all are African Americans and are working on a movie about it. You can see the trailer below.

The Ogden Bike Pirate

2010-09-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my family was passing through the ugliest most disgusting town in Utah. Yes, Ogden Utah. The most wretched filth ridden town in Utah. What do we see on the street corner? Yes, a man on a bike with a huge white bird on his shoulder. Nobody in our car could figure it out. We just assumed he was a mentally ill man who thought he was a pirate.

What kind of van is this?

2010-09-02T22:17:00.001-07:00

What sort of van is this? What is it good for? Who owns it? Where is it? Are you hungry yet?

New Government Protein Initiative

2010-09-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

Forget government cheese. Obama and his gang are getting ready to secure a whole bunch more votes this November. David Axelrod and his cronies dreamed up the idea of replacing government cheese with Unicorn Meat! Never mind the fact that Unicorns are not real or the fact that a balanced budget does not exist, Obama will let all the people who elected him eat Unicorn meat since they are all either on welfare, unemployed or still trying to reopen the steel plants that closed in the rust belt back in the 1980s. Ladies and gentlemen, this truly is Hope and change we can believe in!

More discussion of Bigfoot at the Grocery store

2010-08-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

I have talked about Bigfoot here before several times. I have posted theories, ideas and other stuff. Last week I was in the grocery store and ran into the lady seen above.

I had to ask her if she felt Bigfoot was real. She said she believed he was real. As well she explained that since Bigfoot sightings are nearly always experienced along with UFO sightings, she felt that they were connected somehow. When I pressed her further she was not sure how they were related but offered a few ideas. Her first idea was that Bigfoot is really some sort of hybrid, part human and part alien. Her second idea was that aliens are trying to learn from Bigfoot "how to hide and stuff".

I thanked her for her opinions and asked if I could photograph her for my website. She happily agreed. It was a pretty bizarre experience. I doubt any of her theories are even plausible.

Obama on an Economic Unicorn!

2010-08-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

Our president, is off on yet another vacation, golfing, eating, napping and partying. All the while the average American is scared to death about his or her economic future. Obama's Hope and Change has turned into an economic Armageddon. His pro union, pro regulation, socialist policies have wrecked the once powerful American economy. His advisers tell him all is well. His unicorn knows no bounds and will never run out of rainbows to ride.

Creepy People who drive vans: Part II

2010-08-25T18:54:00.000-07:00

Two years ago I was pondering on the subject of creepy people who drive vans. Since that time, this topic has come up several times. The photo above is surely a "kidnapper van". I have also had a reader send me a video of a 1970's "killer van" video.

Check it out here:

Of course nobody can forget the scary "heart window" found on the ultimate "crusing vans".

Then there is the "A-Team" van with all of its associated coolness and weirdness. No BA Baracus in this photo.

Then of course we have the "Star Wars" themed airbursh art work and extra axle and wheels.

Trickle-Up Poverty

2010-08-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

Juts pre-ordered a new book. It is released here in a few weeks. It is by an excellent author and story teller. It is perhaps slightly critical of the economic policies of our current president [ruler].

Wookiee Madness!!!

2010-08-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

What exactly is a Wookiee? Well, lets start by saying that there is no such thing as a Wookiee. It is an imaginary creature created fro the Star Wars movies by George Lucas. Why am I posting about this? Because the news these days is just too depressing and the fact that there are people who are actually trying to learn the Wookiee language Shyriiwook is just hilarious. Come on people, get a life. Wookiees are not real, Star Wars did not happen and learning an imaginary language will in no way help you.

Mr. T addicted to prescription drugs

2010-08-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered this never before seen photo of Mr. T. It looks like he has a new problem many of us have not known of. I beleive this was taken on a cruise ship?

1. What was Mr. T doing on a cruise ship?
2. Who put him there?
3. What does Obama gain by having Mr. T hooked on meds?
4. How would we capture him?
5. Where did he get his gold chains?

Modern Day American Feudalism?

2010-08-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

Michelle Obama and her entourage spent nearly $500K of tax-payer money on a lavish romp through the Mediterranean as unemployment crests at 10% and misery abounds. Apparently even the American media is starting to see how pathetic the Obama's are. Of course we "the little people" are not supposed to say anything as our "rulers" cavort about lustily spending our taxpayer cash on unnecessary and wasteful vacations as more and more "little people" are scratching through the depression. Of course we must predict and acknowledge what the mentally-ill liberal's talking points will be to counter this terrible PR for the president and his wife. She was even called a modern day "Marie Antoinette". For those who don't understand this comparison, let me explain. Just before the French Revolution, the "little people" as the queen of France referred to them, were living in grinding poverty, barely surviving. All the while, the King and Queen of France were living lavish lifestyles eating plenty of luscious food and taking exotic European vacations all the while the "little people" were starving. Similarly, Michelle Obama goes on daytime TV regularly touting "austerity" and talking about how the American people need to live in a "sustainable way" and cut back and sacrifice to make it through the tough times we are experiencing. Apparently like most liberals, the Obama's are clearly in the 'do as I say not as I do' camp. It is no wonder The president's approval rating is falling like a brick. Here is what the mindless liberals will do to change the message:

1. Blame Bush. They will say things like "Laura Bush went on vacations too....". The truth is that Laura Bush did go on vacations. She went camping in the National Park and back to her ranch in Crawford Texas. At least she was putting money in he US economy.

2. She was on vacation as a private citizen. Yes she was but the taxpayer was funding her $12,000 per hour jet ride on Air Force two and her 20+ secret service detail not including her pals and their kids who went with.

3. Scream "Racism" like yelling "fire" in a crowded theater.

Missouri overwhelmingly rejects Obamacare

2010-08-04T05:27:00.000-07:00

How could this happen? I thought the majority of Americans supported Obama's strong-armed government takeover of the Health care industry? I suspect that something is fishy here. With a simple and easy to understand health care process like the one seen above who can even imagine people may have concerns with Obamacare? How can people doubt the government takeover of healthcare? Obama and his henchman have made a cool little website telling me that everything is OK.

I am certain that the effort to repeal Obamacare is not based on policy disagreement but instead on racism. Since Obama is black, nobody can deny that the only reason people oppose being taxed to pay for irresponsible people, it must be racism.

Spudman 2010

2010-08-01T21:07:00.001-07:00

The Spudman is over and this marks my 6th time through. It was probably my best bike time and 2nd worst swim time. Overall it was a fun race. My back is messed up pretty bad so I had a friend do the run and together we finished at around 2:25. This is a very good time for this course and it was a very good time. Next year I want to hit that same time but do it on my own. We'll see....

No mullets this year but there were plenty of shenanigans in the transition area.

The Democrat Playbook

2010-07-26T19:13:00.001-07:00

1. Scream Racism: use words and phrases like “Slavery, social justice, culture, uncle tom, elitist, disenfranchised, etc.”
2. Take over big private corporations and make them part of the government through “bailouts” and other anti-capitalist initiatives.
3. Complain about anyone who disagrees with you and refer to them as “extremists”.
4. Blame the previous administration for anything going wrong even if it is your fault.
5. Find means and ways to undermine the US military, all while waving the flag.
6. Blame “the rich” for all of the world’s problems. Deny that people who are poor made bad life choices while instead blaming people who are educated and work for a living.
7. Give cash to the unemployed through welfare, free healthcare and other entitlement programs.
8. Demand higher taxes on the rich.
9. Peddle influence for votes with America’s corrupt and useless unions. Must use words like: “management, greed, job security, etc”
10. Seek for ways to make America look bad, especially by apologizing and bowing to petty dictators and other leaders of 3rd world scum nations.
11. Call bad good and good bad.
12. Attempt to control the voice of the opposition through fairness doctrine and other means to curb first amendment privileges.
13. Make fun of religious people.
14. Blame “The Evil White Male” for all of society’s problems including but not limited to: homelessness, poor school grades of minority children, hurricanes, oil spills in the gulf of Mexico, illegal immigration, etc.
15. Grant Amnesty to millions of people who broke federal statutes by coming to American illegally.
16. Grow the size of government and increase red-tape and bureaucracy in order to maintain control of the American people.
17. Give federal money to nefarious and anti-American groups like: Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, ACORN, SEIU, southern poverty law center, Media Matters, etc.
18. Scream Racism from the rooftops.
19. Cast blame on the previous administration for anything bad happening.
20. Demand “womens rights” while allowing thousands of innocent unborn children to be slaughtered in clinics across America.
21. Demand justice for the oppressed.
22. Fly around the world at the tax payer’s expense on Air Force jets without reimbursing the taxpayer.
23. Pass legislation that lines the pockets of the people who donated to your campaign and with which you are beholden.
24. Appoint “Czars” and other “advisors” in the middle of the night or during congressional recess in order to side step any pesky questioning of your appointees.
25. Scream “Racist!” and bring in old-school race agitators like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, etc.

FOAM

2010-07-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

The Nerds Are Getting Desperate

2010-07-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in New York a depressed nerd finally decided he didn't like being broke. He donned his Darth Vader cape and mask and found his drunk uncle's glock and went to a local Chase bank. You can see from the pictures what happened.

Times must be really tough if even the nerds are getting this desperate. What would drive a Star Wars fan to such an extreme act? I think he may have realized that Star Wars was not actually real and that nobody was going to come and recruit him to help defeat the Empire. I believe this pushed the nerd over the edge and he snapped. Imagine finding out Santa was not real at age 30? This is the shock that overcame this man and led him to a bank with a pistol, darth vader helmet and cape.

The final load

2010-07-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

We finally finished the move and it is a great feeling to be done. I felt like Jed Clampett with my truck full of junk.